Monday, September 1, 2014

September wishes.... back to the basics (writing everyday)

Crisp mornings ... plans and dreams
feeling scared
that they may all shrivel
or will they bloom?
my pains are upholding my present
and my present is in you
long lost love
although i know where you are
i want to be with you
there right now
in your arms
and yet i am cold
here
worried and afraid to be so

responsible and could it be inevitable
that my next few days are never changing ///will it be the same
or will it be precious or will it be identical
or will it be
wonderful
filled with crisp mornings...plans and dreams


Crisp
can mean a heavenly skin sensation as one leaves the house in the morning to feel a sharp, tangent vibrant spring in the air that leaves one ... deeply in love with day


or Crisp
a potato flavored savory with a high calorie content

which one will you choose?


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -