Thursday, February 13, 2014

random clicks

tunes in my head . wherever i tread, a piece of me wins or loses
mystery in a balcony
I remember times and imagine futures adn hope for days that mean everything and cry nothing
treasures in a lost land like I
lost treasures in a mistaken body
am I the one?
its only Gods creation that brings us together and sets us apart only spaces and maybe busy airports

a balcony at 6.02
life mute
except the voice of love and dreams pouring through a gap from the ceiling into my soul
you know its too late , weve already fallen in love
changing me and making me the same
wishing I could change and never be the same
wishing  I could pray better
wishing I Could find that person within me that i dont know anymore

will my balcony heal me
and make me
and find me
and take me into a place Ive always wanted to go

I remember coming here and looking at a shadow never thinking it would be possible but it is possible
this is my home
like my bedroom so far away
this is my place and where my mind sets and where i watch the day set and where i watch my life begin

im adamant to try
today i tried
im superior because ...............?

finding thoughts in a dark mind
pushing goodness from the rotten apple
eating fresh from a broken place
theres no henna today to trace
time is treasure and treasure is time
remembering who iwas and what i want to be
rather than being stuck in a timeless zone
just space and a useless alarm clock
60,000 thoughts and none make sense
I feel like my heart has become way too dense
what are you putting inside?
in seconds life changes
your feelings and you heart
I want to pray here
in my balcony

dont remember the last time ...........


sprinklers are on
the sound waters my heart before the garden

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -