random 1st try

I knew I could do it
trusted myself and i suceeded
booked my life away
am excited for a different day
but am angry with myself like a wicked queen
wanna burn my village and never look back
cuz the guilt would be tremendous and strength I lack

am glad i did something new and strange
she looked amazing like she never changed
like she was new and old all at the same time
like she never moved into days like all of us like she was fine
and in that instant it didnt matter if her life was terrible or not for me

i desperately wanted to be her in me

.........
am enstranged in everything i do
lost in trying to change , trying to be free
my skin is like an ugly monster

I wonder why her eyes were red
maybe its all my fault and i deserve to .... nothing
i dont deserve any of what i have
 I treat her like nothing and yet shes everything
for without her I wouldnt be here
and i didnt choose her but Allah chose her
and i dont deserve any of this
any of this


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