feel like this... suddenly erase all I did in Ramadan
.......... Ramadan was the purest with all the sweetest of intentions
like a new scent into my life I promised begged and pleaded myself for a new life
and here I am now one month one - a total failure
bad words about people
impatience killing me
unclean thoughts and a useless memory
forgotten goodnesses & ungrateful person
I am......
in hatred - a viscious cycle of torn beads and scents of rot
am I rotting? into another year of this black expansion
or am I still strong am I still able and will never be disabled by the devil
I may lose a million battles but I will never lose the war
deep down I know I am a good person I know what my faith means to me I know what love means to me
passion marriage falling in love I may think wrong I may be immature but I know if it came down to the day... I am ready - I will not fall into this trap - sadness sadness sadness and suddenly its december - feel good for a while then sadness sadness sadness suddenly its my birthday - feel good for a while sadness sadness sadness suddenly they will say next ramadan is here - this year I want to tighten that rope between the two ramadans forever and ever - this year is different - I have discovered I am still too weak to get rid of sin completely but I understand why - I however I am very strong in reading quran, praying to God, hoping for a better way- but this year my strategies are different my plots & deviations my explosions will not be to destroy me but to destroy the devil and correct my soul - yes I will smell good I will look good I will feel good I will be good I will be hope filled with hope filled with good space good memories good emotions good moments good times good future I am good and so I will find a good future - Inshallah
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