Sunday, March 7, 2010

I used to dream...


I used to think about dreams like they were real dreams
trumpeting though the music of my soul, clean magnitudes of purity heavenly decisions and easy going valleys of a lifetime of hope

I used to see dreams like they were a part of me, made from me and made by me,
pretending about life was easy meddling in the parties of todays existence, till the morning came and the night stung into the sweet dews over hanging love and trees of kisses grew into my secret garden, for petals heard, and only sky glaciers froze over the whispers of drama

I used to dream of beautiful jewels of stars becoming my story and canopy of everlasting seduction and destiny was glorious fate and wishful thinking a balcony of mine

I used to dream of dreams like they could be and I could see how they could be
_______
For in My dreams, I became something out of a memory growing slowly and then evaporating into the future to reach me, a place where I could feel them touching my heart
for in them
I advanced passion and trust, lust and trust,
honest dust painting the walls of an african girl
with swirls of english countryside
and twirls of new meaning and beaming sun of time
nothing is crime, to dream well
and spell the letters of my life , I write through urban commitments
and holiday refreshments
in hope I can dream again
become hope again
become a dream again
return again
to my long lost dreams
for it seems
I forgot how to dream
to truly truly dream
like I once used to dream
of encounters and counters of sunset rolls of mirror emotions
and wonderlands of sharing devotions
crisp white linen in a nights wind tale
palm trees shine with the scent of the moons dawn
white sand touches everything
white carriage...carry me....
into a blissful dream



TO BE CONTINUED>...

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -