Wednesday, March 17, 2010

untitled shivers

My heart palpates into deep frenzies of love and adventurous affairs, losing my sanity to beautiful encounters of wonderful people and daring imaginations I sanction myself to do mistakes and ask for forgiveness later
I don't understand
why my mind wont help me
why my body wont attempt to lose the imbalance of prediction and destruction of a young girls stupid.. stupid... memories and thoughts

1 comment:

appletreeserenity said...

I'm able to empathise with so many of your thoughts.

A struggle of the mind,
A pain that may be caused...
But faith and hope are the two most powerful analgesics,
We've been given the power to prescribe them to ourselves.
Potential negative side effects? None.
Fear of a bad overdose? Non existent.
And so we should drug ourselves silly, with nothing to lose and all to gain.

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -