Monday, March 22, 2010

Heart eating true - part 1



I have been collecting baking books for a while, Love the pictures, the idea of following new different foods and then adding your owns exits and create something into the freeway
Why?
With the intention of learning how to cook of course - romantic, good tasting foods - that no one else ( i mean, none other but the owner of the books) knows how to whip up with the hope that i become ... well what this book is titled


A DOMESTIC GODDESS

I love both words
Domestic - every time i hear the word I used to think of domestic violence or

.

.
.
domestos !-yes the cleaning agent, so toilets basically
but now the word domestic is like a fancy word for rich mansion of love as bread baking enters the living room -
like good food can become your heart
Goddess? - breaking news for me - elegant and twisted with imagination - a woman of creativity and strength - all Iwanted to become
stretch the two together and

I feel like all I want to do is buy flour ,eggs and chocolate and other sweet things and cook recipes wearing a silk gown beautifully interlaced with a family sleeping with magical food cells in their tummys - I might even be doing this at 3 in the morning using only the light of the refrigerator as the reflections shivers of my home made mint and lavender flowers lie on the pearl floor of my happinness

You see - simple things set me to write
even simpler things break me to dream
dreams that are a book, words, cakes, scones and biscuits away


I think of it ... as delightful sugar - just how like faith is delightful sugar - white and sweet

( The above is a sponge cake - filled with custard, strawberries, mango and chocolate - topped with cream and icing sugar)

To be continued..

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -