Tuesday, March 18, 2008

As One

Muslim society
A shattered community
Should be a precious unity
But all I see is a broken technicality – of meaning
Missing gaps we cannot fill
Leaving jigsaw puzzles of loving god, unfinished raw and ill
Empty spaces we left time kill
Instead of using all the golden moments to save and not spill
Blood alive
Youth dies
Amongst the rubbles of our weakness
Somewhere in the luxury of our ignorance
The ties in our connections are forgotten
As each one walks away from the troubles we have all gotten
And can never solve without each others suggestions
But all we suggest is a malfunction of a fake devotion
Countries signing to break apart
Bodies living to breathe differently
To highlight a billboard of Islam insignificantly
Signatures of a tragedy
Who we are is just not being manufactured properly
Affected by a shortage of belief
Final product is labeled grief
And I wish Muslims would turn over a new leaf
Into a heaven on this earth where they don’t depend on substitutes
For God – for staying forever together – protecting each other
Chapters of a future written as a junk in pride
Right now we are a history not writing for our side
Never encouraging our generations to be proud of our determination
Our inspiration and our motivation to make god smile
I don’t know what is worthwhile
If fulfilling our name is not in the pile
Of our to do’s jingling in the car keys of our beginning day
Back stabbing play
And the game will end with our loss
All the right moves we toss –
And our head falls to the pillow comforting our vibrating mistakes
Temporary evaluation in an unthinkable reality
High above the skies somewhere our souls are allowed life as we sleep
I wish I didn’t weep – from the intellectual madness we serve
I’m going to reserve my energy
To begin a prosperity in my dreams switching it into reality - truly

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -