Thursday, April 2, 2020

Pandemic times of me

Aaahh what better way than to drive solace and need in a human than get back to the first ever constituents of life

silence


patience


time


This time.. where theres enough time to hear the wind blowing and the leaves swaying
is a time that will never be found again
if you want think of it like a time of desperation where out of the unknown there is one thing for sure


Time can not get cancelled
so use it wisely and happily

Remember - you are what you believe - and you are the conclusion of your efforts and your thoughts
you cannot be two
you cannot pretend
you cannot expand without truth

so be truthful with yourself
who are you really ?


A mother of two?
A smart woman?
An energetic human?
A lost soul?


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -