Sunday, August 23, 2015

From pause to play

Feeling despair
Empty gold snd platinum running by
I prayfor myself.... Limited editions
Only in a miniscule like asecret
Like a small hole in my heart
I move with my mistakes to a newlevel to a new era
Of forget
Just forget others
Just lose to their pain
Too much to handle yours and theirs so itsjust yours   
But even yourself u to choose to forget
And instead u choose regret

A broken woman u are
Always feeling like u havnt done something
Always feeling like u havnt earned something
Always feeling like u havnt looked out for 
Always looking over your shoulder for the future u deserve
Always looking for drama u dont need
Always wasting time that u do need
In love with the right person
Kind and sexy and honest
Sweet caring and happy
A happy man
But i want to make him happier
And happier
Ya rab 
Please take from me bad thoughts and only give me good ones
Please only show me good things
Please dont let me lose in anything
Please take away my pain my fears and my thoughts of sadness 
Please please forgive me
Please let me be deserving of hard things
 Of things tht are precious
Please be with me through thick and thin
But give me the pleasures in life that are just so sweet
Please dont give up on me
Nd please dont stop your rewards
Your kindness that showers on me
Always in evry little thing of my life
Let my story be truth and beauty and sunshine
New life and great love
Peace and trust 
Ya rab 
Let me be the one u choose
 Let me be
Ya allah let me be
Please let that pause button go on
To play
Ya rab i ask u and travel to a place filled with true dreams
Ya rab
Let it all come true

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -