Saturday, August 15, 2015

Destination sky

Somewhere far away 
A train is leaving a platform and organisation exists
Near me chaos trembles in the form of little pearls of rain at 9 am
The calmness if the day is glorious and beautiful
I want to be here and not anywhere else
Somewhere someone is walking for their daily exercise and pilates is open
Cafes glisten and costa coffee soars
Shops open but there will always be lonliness 
For here the nothing i look into makes me a better person
It must do
For thisisy own here i came and from here i come
The land is moist and the rubish filters its pain into a saddening ppicture
My lines are still 1 and i do not have purity in my mind
Purity exists only with the sure only with the ones aiming sky
But i 
I always question the rubbish and hate the dirt
Live event chose me and it was amazing 
Felt like this is what it should be like for a moment
This is what it should feel like in a moment
Positivity i hold and it falls from me everyday
I want something but i dont even say
I want something that only i am stopping myself from
To be continued

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -