Monday, May 17, 2010

what is it - that U cannot forgive... ever


I thought about it
the first thing on my mind was betrayal
if ur lover or best relative or someone close betrays you
lies to you
but then after thinking i realised
betrayal is in our lives all the time - sometimes we dont think and it happens
we forgive and we dont think
things small we let go off
and when we think about it
they always say -
if u cannot forgive somebody for doing some thing bad to you
then you have not forgiven yourself
people hold on to tears and fears from other people when truly the pain is from themselves
I know its hard to forgive
but its a teaching method
its a form of happiness
forgiving someone - letting go of the anger
trying to forget the pain
and before you know it
you have forgiven
so really the one thing I cannot forgive is not being able to forgive!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great post. I am dealing with some of these issues as well.
.

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -