Sunday, November 21, 2021

Settling

For nothing the best but what is the best and setting when there are hyenas around 
Do you settle to be free in that case or that you don’t die?
Setting for a distinction in an exam or setting for the weight of your normality 
How many times have you settled
And how many times have you not 
Settling for power within yourself and setting to remain calm amidst the maddening
The best people are in prison having never settled
But are the worst people out there what about the ones that have created transparency 
Hamdok people will die although you say you’ve done this so they won’t 
What have you settled for are you have gone for the best 
Is this the best? 
Is this all the Sudanese can attain?
Is this all I can attain?
 Where is the freedom from within me
Hamdok 
Where is your best settlement 
And where is your worst
Are you ok? I ask 
Is your family ok I ask?
Why did you faint ?
Did you body say no to settling ? 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -