Monday, February 8, 2021

Pieces of me 7- the secret mirror

Innocent means that you did not commit the crime. Not Guilty means that there was not sufficient evidence to determine that you did commit the crime. 

In my life 
There is a secret mirror
Where secrets come out
Like a flinging snake coming out of fire
Burning and stinging in the storm
I am innocent
But the secret mirror showed bluntness 
Twirling tables and twisted thoughts 
Maybe for both of us 
I don’t know 
But I do know I am innocent
Does the secret mirror know? 
Itsreflection is not of the things u see
Or the things you know
It’s secret is in its secret
It’s unknown words
And it’s unknown goal
It’s unknown action
What’s it doing? 
Is it a good mirror or is it a bad mirror?

I don’t know 
But I do think it’s honest
Whatever comes out might not be it’s fault 

But Then I understood it’s meant to protect me 
Or is it just meant to protect the truth
For the first time in my life I understand what I feel like for a person being given told the verdict they’re guilty when they’re innocent 
How it must feel 
The pain 
The pain
Of being jailed when you should be free
When you have to suffer because you were so pure


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -