Once upon a time I had the best life in the world
I was the happiest woman in the world
But then terrible things happened to her
Things that are too painful to write
For me
Too terrible to think of
Too terrible to imagine how she must have felt
Except her kidneys failing
Except her life never as she imagined
Except how she had to accept the screams and the illnesses not just to her but to her whole family
Who are now in different corners of infinity
Held only by memory and history
That one day
Far away
There was a family that was actually really really happy but they no longer exist
Dear blog
My heart aches for how my life is going
And I am so scared
I know that I have to be strong and powerful and show my muscles
But my muscles are only weak and frail
And my despair is suffocating
My gashes are now large
And my fears are now rampant
Eating me alive
Until maybe the kidneys or the heart or other organs will be gone
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