Sunday, February 7, 2021

It’s just so sad

That we would have to go through this
All because of a phd and some extra weight
The cost of being a good person
It’s just so sad that we would have to go through this
Dark words and all
Unspoken drama or the uncensored flurry of meanness evilness 
It’s just so sad that we would have to go through this 
I thought my life was zuzu and rainbows
And a bit of hot fries in subsaharan Africa
And maybe cold 7up to quench the excitement that has now turned to pain
It’s just so sad
We are filled with remorse and anger hate towards each other and so much trepidation 
So much uncertainty 
What’s the probability that it’s all right or it’s All wrong? 
Well at the moment it’s. a significant vLue that it’s all just a fundamental flaw
One letting me not want to repeat the excitement for it just brings the same null results
It’s just so sad that we have to go through this
All because of a phd and some extra weight 



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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -