50 reasons I love you

50 Reasons🌹🌹🌹 I love you🌹🌹

Pretty.👩

Soul mate👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Sweet😘

Never give up on me🤦‍♀️

Honest😊

Dedicated 🤩

Confident😎

Sexy🥰

Respectful 🧕

Trustworthy👍🏼

My rock🤩

Make me feel happy😂

You love me no matter🤪 what

Selfless😇

Generous 💸

Good friend👫

Honey eyes 👁️👁️

Wise🙈🙊🙉

 Forgiving💞

Humble🦋

Godly example🤡

Married me👰🤵

Best Mum🤱

Love shopping

Keep me safe💌

Protective

Amazing wife👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Do anything for me🌈

Excellent cooker👩‍🍳

Motivated

Believe in us🎼🎼🎼

Funny

Loving 💛🧡❤️💜💙💚

Likes to travel 🇰🇾🇧🇷🇳🇱🇸🇧🇪🇭🇬🇧🇺🇸

Know good restaurants 🏬🏢🏤

Hard worker

Clever 

And the love of my life💘

Pieces of me 19- a hopeful twist

The 5 year title 2026 – A hopeful twist 

A lovely person, with a great attitude. Having a great job, truly fulfilled but also being a dedicated mother and wife. A writer. A cook. A traveller. A collector of beautiful things. A supporter not a leader for my family. A person they can count on and that they can love. I want to find health and wealth first in my mind and then in heart followed by money. I wish no drama. I wish actually the mundane, the normal. A life of no drama with simplicity is lovely. The mundanity of excellence. Yes. I wish lots of books. Lots of magazines. Lots of podcasts and hot coffee. And of course mint tea. Going with my family to ramadans in Egypt and then the madina and then hajj. Musalsals. Being a tv fan, a shahid fan, a now fan, a Netflix fan. Having good eyes only. Ramadan in Khartoum with my lovely family. Maybe a new house, maybe not. But wherever I am I want to be never complacent. Never in turmoil and never out of love. Most importantly I want my husband. Who I love very very much and desire to have forever. I find lust and trust in him. I find honesty and calm. I find love and happiness. I find a deep connection. I find friendship and joy. I find connections that meet like jigsaws. I find understanding. He is like a book of breath to me. One that I need and strive to have. Because of him, I try. Because of my family, I live. Because of me, I wake up.  

Pieces of me 16- very close forever

I wish we can be very close forever

Not losing pace 

 Not losing fight

Not losing plight of our aims and mission

Not losing effort

Doing things like you feel true about it 

Pieces of me 11- the red cup

Of tea sits from the morning

If I hadn’t saved the fruit salad it would be in the same fate

So if we’re in a new life with new ways 

Why keep old ways

New ways are here

So cups should not sit and fruit salads will never be made again 

Pieces of me 10- the mistake

To cry over the wrong things

To say the wrong things

To feel the wrong things

To want the wrong things

To pray I could take them back

Nothing can be taken back 

Nothing can move back 

Only forwards

It was mistake when I never believed

All good things do come to an end

It was a mistake

To forget my life and how it works

To forget that finding happiness is  in my hand

It was a mistake

To have high expectations

Yes

That was the biggest mistake

To have high expectations

It was a mistake to stop asking

What if I never found out?

Pieces of me 9- the decision

Is to write write

Write and write

It’s the only way to heal

Paper can’t shout 

Paper can’t misunderstand

paper can’t shut

Paper is white

Paper is truth 

Beliefs must stay core

Good things must stay core

Good things I have control over 

Like listening to podcasts music series and radio

Like writing about love

Like being at peace with my beautiful children

Like finding allah for I have lost him 

Like finding myself

Like being nice to myself

Like believing in myself 

Like never confusing strength with anything else

I will no longer turn to disappointment

No longer turn to fear

No longer turn to threats

And no longer turn to expectation

I will not lie

I am very hurt

I am very angry

I am very disappointed

I am very discouraged

I am scared

But like a cancer diagnosis or like an ill heart

Or like any other disease

It must be faced full on and the treatment found

And even in the bad cases

When treatment fails 

People still try 

Before it’s all over

They still try 

Pieces of me 8 - I came here

To be happy 

I came here to be loved

I came here to be attached 

I came here to be light

I came here with dreams

I came here with hopes 

I came here with a vision 

I came here with excitement 

I came here with defiance

I came here for completion 

I came here with things

I came here with nice things

I came here to find myself

And my family to reconnect

I came here for connection

I came here for love

I came here so I wouldn’t be alone

A lot of these things happened

But for a small amount of time

A very small amount of time

And then none of these happened

And life became sour

Became 

Quiet

Khartoum heartbreak at its best

01.01 am here in the desert with stings if all kind

For the balcony cools the mosquitos and invites them to bite my open heart 

That admits defeat

That admits sorrow 

That admits shock

And the biggest sadness

Loss

The stings are numerous

But I give my body to the malarial insight of a broken relationship 

For imagine!

Distance had hidden us into lies!

And the power of similar numbers but with one different at the end 

Tore us apart

I feel like I’m at the farthest location on earth 

The tents of the deepest Persian mountains 

Or maybe the smallest town on earth 

Or maybe the most silent

I ask myself

What is mOre important to me 

My health and happiness my smartness my goodness or something else? 

Pieces of me 7- the secret mirror

Innocent means that you did not commit the crime. Not Guilty means that there was not sufficient evidence to determine that you did commit the crime. 

In my life 

There is a secret mirror

Where secrets come out

Like a flinging snake coming out of fire

Burning and stinging in the storm

I am innocent

But the secret mirror showed bluntness 

Twirling tables and twisted thoughts 

Maybe for both of us 

I don’t know 

But I do know I am innocent

Does the secret mirror know? 

Itsreflection is not of the things u see

Or the things you know

It’s secret is in its secret

It’s unknown words

And it’s unknown goal

It’s unknown action

What’s it doing? 

Is it a good mirror or is it a bad mirror?

I don’t know 

But I do think it’s honest

Whatever comes out might not be it’s fault 

But Then I understood it’s meant to protect me 

Or is it just meant to protect the truth

For the first time in my life I understand what I feel like for a person being given told the verdict they’re guilty when they’re innocent 

How it must feel 

The pain 

The pain

Of being jailed when you should be free

When you have to suffer because you were so pure

Pieces of me 6- the woman with renal failure

Before she died one day said to me 

Once upon a time I had the best life in the world

I was the happiest woman in the world

But then terrible things happened to her 

Things that are too painful to write

For me

Too terrible to think of 

Too terrible to imagine how she must have felt

Except her kidneys failing 

Except her life never as she imagined

Except how she had to accept the screams and the illnesses not just to her but to her whole family

Who are now in different corners of infinity

Held only by memory and history

That one day 

Far away 

There was a family that was actually really really happy but they no longer exist

Dear blog

My heart aches for how my life is going

And I am so scared

I know that I have to be strong and powerful and show my muscles

But my muscles are only weak and frail 

And my despair is suffocating

My gashes are now large

And my fears are now rampant

Eating me alive 

Until maybe the kidneys or the heart or other organs will be gone 

Pieces of me 5- doing everything u said u wudnt do

It’s interesting

You said you had a belief that you cannot make someone want or love u 

What happened to that 

Dont you know anything about love

Dont you have any characteristics to show for how much you love love? 

Pieces of me 4... the lost picture

Let me take you through a journey

From all the away across the seas in front of a camera in the middle of a faraway land

I stood and smiled 

Alone at the time but maybe not quite

For little miracles where happening and the picture stood still

Of my face

Little did I know what that picture would mean 

The meaning of the end of something that has happened and no more is it happening now

And then the picture flew back with me and went to others moving into them and their hearts

And their phones too

Meaning a lot and being there for Avery long time

Until one day

The picture got lost and was erased

By the future 

For no picture can stand such turmoil

No happy smile can stand such sorrow

No shiny but simple necklace can be beautiful purchased from Khartoum worn in San Antonio  taken around in the pockets everywhere and finally thrown to the rubbish of bitterness

It deletes itself 

Shadows away like those pictures they put of dead people and they right the years of living and dying

That is what that picture stands for

When I took it

Living and dying 

It’s just so sad

That we would have to go through this

All because of a phd and some extra weight

The cost of being a good person

It’s just so sad that we would have to go through this

Dark words and all

Unspoken drama or the uncensored flurry of meanness evilness 

It’s just so sad that we would have to go through this 

I thought my life was zuzu and rainbows

And a bit of hot fries in subsaharan Africa

And maybe cold 7up to quench the excitement that has now turned to pain

It’s just so sad

We are filled with remorse and anger hate towards each other and so much trepidation 

So much uncertainty 

What’s the probability that it’s all right or it’s All wrong? 

Well at the moment it’s. a significant vLue that it’s all just a fundamental flaw

One letting me not want to repeat the excitement for it just brings the same null results

It’s just so sad that we have to go through this

All because of a phd and some extra weight 

Pieces of me 3... Eman and Ahmed

Strangely , I am content

For I know my ground and my ambiance

Yes

I am heartbroken destructed at how a second moment lingers the destruction of a beautiful day

Like a summer breeze

Bombed with the shelling of war

But I have Eman and Ahmed

My beautiful 

I could never love someone more

He follows me he trusts me fully he needs me 

He wants me as just me with no judgement

Isn’t that beautiful? 

And his sweet little hand fits my tears 

And his silent breath holds mine accountable

And his beautiful lips shine my journey

As for Eman

She is really a wonder

A difficult divine prosperous creature asking for everything at the same time

Her heart soft but her words tough

Just like me

Boy is she like me

Like a thunder in the darkness she is my light

And like the rock in the storm I cling onto her

Her eyes needing me in all her might

She is just a little little thing

Even though her voice is wow! 

And her mind is ... mysterious

She is mine and I want her just like she is 

She is the princess of strength the princess of questions 

The princess of my heart and soul

I ask she forgives me one day for all my madness 

All my inequalities 

I ask they both never stop loving me 

I hope they love me with purity

With true true true true love

The kind that you can trust blindly

I wish they hold me tight and warm me

I ask they get smart and clear and confident and most importantly

I beg they love each other more than anything and that they support one another

Because they have each other 

2 amazing souls