where are my pieces

the valley between going back and going forwards the area of looking behind your shooulder although your feet are taking you on the condition in which your mind says you can do this! but also says are you sure? the place where your attention damages you but your eyes cannot see except wrong you then become lost although it seems you are under control for then it doesnt matter how your days go how your weeks go or how your life goes there is no aim not gratitude for yourself that hurts escpecially when you went from clear to foggy from sharp to blunt from focused to blurred from clear to hazed from outlined to irregular from you to ... unlabelled let me tell you if you cannot give yourself what you desire then no one else can and let me tell you if you start putting blame on others just because it feels good then your a silly woman and if you start believing that your life is not worth fixing then thats a shame like the x in the phone that became dead but your fought on until you got the better of the deal how come you dont fight for yourself like that? by fight i mean respect yourself, honour it, do not take it for granted think about it Allah always does things for a reason and i truly and honestly believe that with all my heart when i take what he gives i love when i start to rethink and regurgitate hopelessness thickness becomes of me i have stories i have magic i have attitude i have dreams and hopes but i also have a beutiful life that should merge with those not intersect and fly by merge i am stronger than believe but i am also way more arrogant than i let on as for selfishness i am both in the right and wrong and with fear i should not let it carry me away or move me in anyway for fear only comes when you dont believe in Gods plan which i do with all my heart i give my fears to you allah i give my life to you i do like the best proposal because i love you with all my dedication and i thank you for all i dont deserve but you still gave me and give me for you are rich and we are poor and yet you flourish us and keep us elegant and warm take me as i am but help me fix my holes dont give up on me and let me beat the storm of mind you say do not follow the steps of the devil for they will lead you nowhere but into destruction you say the devil only promises your poverty and i promise you richness isnt that beutiful? such clear guidelines such moving forwards such one way instructions and i am here listening and yet... i am not the complete jigsaw pieces missing here and there where are they those pieces? this is the road to find them .... to be continued