Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Ramadan day 28- those pains...

I know

I cant get away from them
This time i have to accept them
Have to let them sink me
For i havnt been light
I havnt been light to my body nor kind
Nor happy
And so in return it hasntbeen nice to me
Like powercuts
It cutsitsmagic from meandjust barely 
Ya allah samihni
For everything i have done to my body
How far i have driven it offshore
Andhow long i have neglected
I have been mubazira
I havebeen ananiya
I havebeen u grateful
Ya allah
Forgive me

For i have heaviness everywhere
But after this ramadan
Things have to get better
This time my worries must get lighter
But i must work harder
And make allah proud 
Things must change
For i am sinking
Like fadil

Care for your body and it will support your dreams

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -