gotta get out of this mess
a big solid introduction of abnormal flavour
am just sitting here doing nothing
feeling nothing
being nothing
and how cani be lost if ive got nowhere to go
but my nowhere is the smpty space ahead of me
it feels like im going there
absent from everything i want to be
and anything i can be
am a projection of millions of debris just floating in a random area
noone can pick me up cuz i dont know where i am
imagine a cold, dark, ocean, that God has created
how i miss the thousands of miles away i used to be
in a cozy hut with a hot cup of tea and everything will be alright
and perfect
all those disney colours and flowers
no wreckage or wooden sticks dug on my heart
no feelings of horrid despair
a gulp of fury
a lack of intimacy within myself
words, the pieces of me that I cannot make no more
dont know what htey mean no more
i really dont know who i am no more
and am so happy and yet unhappy at the s ame time
like im exchanging my coins not in the black market
where you get more money than you should
am feeling selfish, jealous, weak,
here I am always given chances
always been given health
and yet i dont want it seems
until maybe it will come real
and how i beg for a new opportunity
called ____________
but i never even know how to wish for it
cuz am just a jealous purple of a kind
want to know everything that doesnt belong to me
want to be nothing i should be
want to have everything i dont
and dont give a _________ about what i have
remorse
guilt
is the delicate morsel i drink from
and dark bread of lack of forgiveness
for i just canot forgive myself
for being so naive
and ..........pathetic
something tore within me when it all got torn away
and i could see it in their eyes
and maybe or definitely history is repeating itself
for im always the kind to be slapped inthe face
5 instead of 1
27 instead of 67
so until then if
what am i gonna do
white instead of yellow
a lot instead of a little
today instead of the past
to be continued
a big solid introduction of abnormal flavour
am just sitting here doing nothing
feeling nothing
being nothing
and how cani be lost if ive got nowhere to go
but my nowhere is the smpty space ahead of me
it feels like im going there
absent from everything i want to be
and anything i can be
am a projection of millions of debris just floating in a random area
noone can pick me up cuz i dont know where i am
imagine a cold, dark, ocean, that God has created
how i miss the thousands of miles away i used to be
in a cozy hut with a hot cup of tea and everything will be alright
and perfect
all those disney colours and flowers
no wreckage or wooden sticks dug on my heart
no feelings of horrid despair
a gulp of fury
a lack of intimacy within myself
words, the pieces of me that I cannot make no more
dont know what htey mean no more
i really dont know who i am no more
and am so happy and yet unhappy at the s ame time
like im exchanging my coins not in the black market
where you get more money than you should
am feeling selfish, jealous, weak,
here I am always given chances
always been given health
and yet i dont want it seems
until maybe it will come real
and how i beg for a new opportunity
called ____________
but i never even know how to wish for it
cuz am just a jealous purple of a kind
want to know everything that doesnt belong to me
want to be nothing i should be
want to have everything i dont
and dont give a _________ about what i have
remorse
guilt
is the delicate morsel i drink from
and dark bread of lack of forgiveness
for i just canot forgive myself
for being so naive
and ..........pathetic
something tore within me when it all got torn away
and i could see it in their eyes
and maybe or definitely history is repeating itself
for im always the kind to be slapped inthe face
5 instead of 1
27 instead of 67
so until then if
what am i gonna do
white instead of yellow
a lot instead of a little
today instead of the past
to be continued
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