Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Work Writing 2_ Never ever lonely

I thank you God for the journey you have taken me through
for It was kind and strong
it was hard but explainable
it was difficult but I reach ease now

everything is explainable and that means a life I Can explain
iF I look back
everything makes sense
and if I look forwards I know what I want now

I realise that you are there all the time
teaching me and helping me
and when I got very lost
you brought me to the most important place in the whole wide world
my whole wide world



you made me travel through my darkness through planes and deserts to reach water and magnificence
mecca and madina
loving sisters of life
I know what my life means to me now
i know that I want to renew my feelings towards a lot of things

my dreams have changed
or else they have become more accurate

my sadness has dissappeared for
i Trust you and think of you as the reflection that absorbs all within me and surrounding me

Trust me
I am no longer ever lonely

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -