Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Work Writing 1

I feel so happy I am siting here with all these new facilities and admirations to myself and god for giving me these kind and needed gifts.
Writing from work is a new idea created to help me explore a new environement of writing, stressed under conditions of life but calm from the proffesionalism quantified in my life. I am work writing about a lot of old and new things, a lot of parts within me waking up again and others having slept forever I can begin refining my words, my actions , my days, my nights, my blog.




In a different environment
like I'm in a new person
I look around
and I have new things
in a new place
for a new time
that I don't know when will end
I want to type different poems
and stories

I want to remember parts of me and forget others
I want to be independant of tears but never forget the drama that healed me just like it broke me
I want new feelings
to feel better that I can afford them
a new work chair and a new work computer
that I know I am new work woman
filled with confidence
I don't care what people thank me for
I thank myself everyday that I forgive myself
Because I have achieved the impossible
I have achieved stepping over remains of memories
I have jumped over hardships of sharp mountains
I have cleared the pathway of pricking fear and love

and when I did that
sitting here now typing out of memory that I am talented
and I am happy
and I am proud
I feel like
no conversation can bring me down
and loneliness
is no longer defined
for I can never be lonely
God is with me always
and my thoughts have travelled millions of miles to reach this new discovery



I want to thank different memories
for they have brought me here
serene and able to smile


I ask myself
how far are you and how near are you?

from everything ...
I answer


I don't know
but I know I am no longer worried
and I am no longer sad
about anything


............TO BE CONTINUED

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -