Wednesday, December 31, 2008

In my arms_ 0 days to go_part2* ( The Countdown)


I’m sorry God for wasting so much time in this 2008
I hope you forgive me, begin me with a new fate
2009 represents for me first a chance to change
To make you proud, to widen my range
Into the perimeters of success, possibilities and amazement
Into creation, talent and no wrong arrangements

Second, I dream to inspire myself and then others
I dream to achieve, perceive and never deceive
I dream to forget the devil and open a new chapter with your angels
I dream to ambassador my elegance as I walk and talk...
I dream to fulfil, commit and motivate my soul
I dream to unite, upright and stay bright

In the previous year, I was confused and lost
In this previous year I was of poor cost
Valuing nothing of what I aspire to pay
Nothing expensive for the price that I say

2008 gave me some open doors, achievements and good days
But nothing like what I really desire, want to reach and never to succumb
Mistakes blotted my year, cries puddled by fears and my time was not so dear
Hesitations were high; everything was low – compared to my hidden glow


2009 is where the glow shines
2009 is where my costs rise
2009 is how my life will change
2009 is how my days will grow
Into better, stronger, wiser
2009 is the way my heart will fulfil
2009 is the way my body will win
2009 is the time my energy needs
To use all its power to achieve
2009 is the bridge to the future
2009 is the cut of the past
The difference that will last
2009 is my moment
2009 is my goals, my dreams, and my reality merging into truth
2009... is me
This concludes my countdown over the past 5 days. My message is strong and I have so many dreams to begin. Next is the outlook towards 2009. Next is 2009. Next is the chance I've been waiting for .

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -