Tuesday, October 14, 2008

CREATIVELY GONE


Who’s going to understand better than I am?
Who’s going to shatter all your dreams away?
Why do you not trust me to care about you forever?
Why do you feel that I’m hiding things all the time?
When will you expirement with falling in love completely?
How will you discover that I will forget your needs?
Why are you scared that I will clumsily forget you?
Can you not just give me a chance?
To prove to you that I will hurt all your romance
That all I did, I did for you
To give you an opportunity to see true love’s blues
I kidnapped your choices and twiddled them with my path
I didn’t mean to overpower you with the betrayal wrath
Obviously I meant to ask for your forgiveness and be so good to you
In the name of our love and our past, what I did was wrong
Please help me to change, can you not understand?
It was just a game to test our enchanting strands
Of time that we spent and meanings that we meant
I won’t be a monster to our fantasies content
I won’t be the control that destroys our partnership
You’re not going to stop protecting me, right?
You’re not going to give up the fight, right?
I promise I’m sorry and I’ll stay up all night
Watching you sleep silently in the storm
Until you don’t have a choice but to commit till we fall
Stay put, until it’s all – CREATIVELY GONE

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -