Thursday, July 10, 2025

فوق و تحت

تطلع فوق لمن انزل تحت و تنزل تحت لمن اطلع فوق
ده الحب مش؟ 
البعد و الحماس فالبعد 
شغل
افكار اخبار 
تعب
تعبانة
هي قالت
Youre acting like you are perfect in everything and noone is good anything like you
Truth is so right
But isnt it true
Ego hurt
Its not
But i am sure of one thing
My dreams ache inside me shaking me ill 
My heart beats … فو and my soul aches
تحت
I shiver at my … emptiness
That hovers and calls me to its arms
Tunes
Words
Stories
Ideas
Others
But not me
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -