On things that I shouldn’t
Like being kind to my children
Or taking a walk everyday
Like stopping the shouting and being calm
Like working extra hard
Like getting rich
Not for me for them
Like holding them in and not pushing them out
My reaction is surprising to me that it would annoy me when he says come mama rather than take it as a glimmer of hope that he is one that cares for me
It is also surprising how angry I feel at all that happens
Just like my own mum
Even though I hate it happening to me
I am her when I vowed I wouldn’t
Why do I have to copy ?
When I tell her the exact opposite advice
Not so easy is it
Or
You can dish it but you can’t do it
It’s sad
All of this is sad
Not right
I’m drowning
Feeling emotionally tangled in a web of wrong
I will die like this
No comments:
Post a Comment