Feeling... Like losing and giving up

Beautiful morning come my way

I miss writing About things that come my way 

Things i appreciate and things that i needlike a breath of 

Fresh air or a morning breakthrough

Or a prrayer ontime

Or deep henna on my hands or feet

Or maybe even a zumba class

For i realised sitting locked up on the edge of the planet 

So high from stability and quite close to danger really

I just truly didnt like who i was

And people were starting to notice

For i conducted myself in a vile embarassing manner

Each second losing

A part of me and begging for existence

And now here i am

Begging for existence inside me

Hoping that my variables will not be a limiting fActor

But this month im not going to do anything but look for red

As i kno i dont deserve this beautiful thing to happen to me

And thst my variables are just too big

My body ... Hates me

Its just too much how much damage ive done

Like how noone can make you think what u truly want to think about

My body is not thinking except what its decided

And my heart is broken

But this time

I must start again

Using an iron theme

Using a faithful background

Beliveing

Asking for forgivenes

And losing

Yes losing

And most importantly

Giving up

Dont think

Just do

Sent from my iPhone