I dont know
i feel like i have it all yet the truth is /.... well different
I feel like i can do it all.. but im just not sure
how will next year be
i definitely dont have control
my children hate me
now hide from me
fight with me
annoy me
but i annoy them
i dont know whats stable and what itsnt
i dont know where is the line
i dont know why i get mad at things that shouldnt make me mad
i dont know why i feel chained
and now even more chained
no more free 9-1.30 and certainly no more 9-4
ill miss that for a while
i had freedom you know for a while
but then now i have something else
but i found out yesterday i am not as supported as it seems
and last months come and go
its been nice
but it has to end
and something else has to start
i hope
as it seems i currently have no options
my options are limited
or are they limitless
i dont know
i just dont know
im blinded by my lack of control that i try take out on my children
control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control what does it mean control control control control control control control if i cant control my emotions or my mind or my strength or my attitude to life conttrol control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control control
control is being calm being positive being unworried letting things happen dont put blame on others they are trying you know
but on your terms not hard enough