8) Pisces
Pisces don't like working hard
Pisces want to be more active and driven but there’s too much going on in their lives for them to stay focused. Of course, they have some inner grit but worries and fantasy take hold of their imaginations too often for them to remain motivated about working. They see themselves as victims of circumstance rather than just being lazy.
And it is very true
even reading the horoscope has allowed me to not guilt myself for not praying ontime and concentrating on the awkward
sure its a matter of everything happening to me not by me
but being a victim or feeling as such is nothing more than a crutch
than a crumbled foil with nothing in it
nothing more than throwing yourself out to the dogs....
one day before Ramadan and im a mess
im all wrong
im unhappy with how i look
im unhappy with my thoughts and actions
im unhappy with my inability to continue things i want and dream
im unhappy with my lack of patience
im unhappy with my attitude towards myself first , then others
i dont see the best in me at all as its just covered in mud
in dirt
in turmoil
in lack of concentration
worries and fantasy is right
its exactly me
all i do is live in worry and fantasy
What it is...
I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.
My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-
My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.
But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.
Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...
Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -
It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -
