Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New hope

A glimmer if hope comes
It grows
I wonder
I dont wonder
I pray
I sit still
I stand tall
I will never falter from gods love
From trusting him
I do....
Forever lovey god
Ya allah
Whatever happens , help me
In these last few hours
This beautiful next new year
Ya allah
Let it be wonderful
Let it be me
That works wonders

Monday, December 15, 2014

Eternally grateful

I am very grateful
For everything
And that nothing is bad
Ya rab i really love you amd completely
Ashamed of whom ive become
And yet u always help me
Save me , in fact
U never let me go
Never forget me
And even though i forget u
I am detached from you
You always hold on
Ya rab
Thank you for today
For now
For yesterday
And for every single day
Thank you for the good times
And for preventing me from having bad times
Ya rab
I want to start afresh
New
Remade
Retouched
And i want to be forgiven
And never ridden ... From your love

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -