Memoirs of a Sudanese Breath: September 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A new journey_ Mecca Madina

A struggling journey filled with truth and pure context of faith , I learned a new way I could never imagine

When I close my eyes....

I still see the black and gold remedy of built beginnings and sanctuary of faith - lights embedding and flooding the heavy streets for people cascaded on entry and never came back - I was told so many things but when it came to that very last second that only first moment you take so long to reach - my mind couldn't stop thinking about thinking to stop and my heart couldn't relax for my feet were bustling to reach further and my eyes were straining to look closer , sounds came from far and wide so my own sound I lost to their rythym to their love for the same place to their choice to come here too to their struggle to get nearer to the heat of 3 million people all hoping for the one and only -

...... To be continued

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -