Sunday, March 29, 2009

Forgotten Diamond

I have thrown a diamond away
It was precious, but I would have lost it anyway



But one day....


I thought it was going to stay
Forever and Forever I dreamt it would be
This diamond and me
In the morning it would have shined in my heart
And at night it would have glowed for us to start
Spending hours

Becoming one power

Always and forever I would have worn him on my hand
A treasure for a long time I took to our tale
But then it was stolen, my hand went pale
Everything changed by a visit to the sea
Outside and abroad my diamond did not plea
It saw the horizon, the likes of being free

Was not with me

And I prayed and prayed that he would understand
But everday quality was cheapening like the grains of broken sand
Please, please shine for me
I can't , can't you see??
You and I, We don't belong
I am not beautiful with you

Tears fall down my diamonds dew

Let me go, his whispers so far
But their echoes radiate from a cracked message in a travelling jar
Tears of millions fall through my veins
My diamond is giving me the world of pain
I have no choice but to thow it far away
And bury it all day after day
Slowly, I trace the memories of him on my hand
As my sadness commands

To take the glamour of love off
And sell my emotions to a silent bidder of control
When I look out I am alone
In the silence of a deepening ocean of hurt and a vast forest of secrets
Everything holds no reason
Walking or running, I must forget
The hardest part yet

I bought that diamond with my love and hope
I looked beyond the wildest scopes of love and fantasy
For us to be together, a unit of destiny
But he didnt trust me, to make him happy
To make him expensive with faith and family
He didnt see my dreams, my inner colours and ideas
He only saw my outer layers
Layers and layers..............



The ocean calls my name, the waves game of fury
Give us the chance you've been waiting for
Give us the breath you've been trying to reach
Give us the time you've been desiring
Give us the man you've been loving
And we will take all your treasures and make them part of the oceans history
Like everything else, like everyone else that comes here
I know my diamond will be safe
Swirling through time, twirling as it falls in the waters rhapsody,
There is a peaceful calamity of this forgotten

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -