Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I Imagine...

I imagine....
I imagine a poem that could describe how I feel
One that suprises even my own emotions and words
One that speaks in the way I desire love to be
I imagine the man who is in this poem
He is a swift feel of articulated passion
His air breathes through the metaphors in the lines
Like he owns the raphsody of events
His beautiful balance evens the wide space of time, between us
I drink his peace that he draws in my mind
He speaks to me as I am a part of him
I Imagine his sense of care
I Imagine his stare
His eyes telling me the world
His eyes share the drama of connection
He floods me with a woven heartbeat of desire

This poem hurts me and makes me
Gives me and takes from me
I waste seconds refusing
And hours perfusing into the delicacy of his touch
I Imagine he is there for me when I need him
He is in Love with me and I am not slim
Without me his life is dim
I imagine he thinks of me right now
I don't know where, I don't know how
Knowing my matter exists deep in his soul I reside
By his love I abide
To stay deep in his heart, he carries me with him day in, night out
Same for me
Somewhere he whispers that I am here
He whispers that I am near
Just close your eyes and you will find me
Tell me what is wrong and listen to my answer
For we are together, bound forever
I Imagine...

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -