True love

I want you to trust me
I need you to love me
I'm yearning that you adore me
I'm living so you control me

I'm asking that you let me be with you
I'm begging that you let me see to you
I'm striving to carry out your every demand
Praying to be under your command

I'm thinking of when you think of me
Listening to our conversations and how they would be
I'm already deciding that you are right and I am wrong Rejoicing that I am weak and you are strong

I'm dreaming of how I would serve you
Wondering what to do so I can deserve you
Seeing in my mind how beautiful you are
And questioning myself
Is that beauty of an untouchable star?

I'm analysing how to attract you
Desperate that you let me understand you
I'm counting the days to gain your affection
Yet realising, I'm driven by useless inspiration

I'm imagining the day you will just look once at me
Despite all the evidence that, that could never be

Its illegal, but just indulging quietly
If you ever offered me some emotion

I would lose reality, sanity- all my motion

The sketch

You are one of a kind and no-one is like you
In a dark green park and watching shooting stars as they spark
There is no-one but you
In my ideas and my world
And I have never felt more comfortable in my days before
Because you promised you would stay and I believe you
And you said you need me and I trust you
And when I give in to telling you that I want you
You don’t let me down

So many songs remind me of you
And so many different nights I pray for you
I don’t know you
But when I dream of you everything is right
Even if it’s just for the smallest while
Everything feels right and I can smile
And I am peaceful and happy
And out of my troubles and worry
And it rains in my imagination
Of sweet memories of you as inspiration
To draw the meaning I hold of you in a sketch
Drawings of love for my heart I fetch

Why is it that I can't stop thinking about you. All of a sudden my world has become revolved around you - Once more I dream of only you and I want the years to speed up so I can see where I am in your heart. If you would be near and make my soul smile because you have changed all my hearts wants and needs. It's just that time remains as it is and you still so far away, sometimes those close fantasies fade and blur with the distance. Yet - I swear you are closer now to me more than ever and I just wish I could reach out to you, tell you how I feel and how much it hurts me to see you like this.

Seeing children sadly cry

Painful as hearing a lover die
Your eyes fairy even they are so real
This is why this is enchanted maybe – am I embracing a fantasy?

Answers

My head is a mess
Mind in distress
Thoughts under stress
Flammable confusion
Waiting to take charge
I aim to be
Someone from within me
I can understand and use as my soul
But I don’t know that person at all
That person I try and reach
Emptiness is all they preach
A great big hole
That into I fall
Blindly seeing
Decisions that make me
I never take them right
I always fight
In the night of my heart
The pump of my mistakes
But also my words
Junctions appear
Before I steer
Into the wilderness of fright
Which one to decide
Is the one I ride
That will take me to me
And if I break down into a mistake
How long will it take?
Before I can drive to the future again?
I am me
Lost as can be
Tired of what I see
The challenges I must NOT flee
And I ask the world
What part do I have?
In its madness
I need a chance
Given to me
By me
Of hope
In the blizzard of determination

It's dissapointment

Damage with words
Internal syllables
Made from lies
Breaking my heart
Compelled to cry
Pain from remembering
Our open mistakes left
Precious dreams for kidnapping
In a lost tremble
Nauseous circle of void –
Trust
Magic scared to fly high
An eternity of dreams gone by
Never in us can we try
To be in love so those dreams never die
It’s disappointment.

A heartbeat away

I look into your eyes
You are a heartbeat away
But in my life
You don’t want to stay
Holding the memories close
To loss I lose
Everything I once owned
Shattering pieces of dawn
The sun rises over a broken mirror
I ask you to stay just another hour
But it’s too late for rain to dampen your soul
For you to hear my call
Dreams scream as I fall
For you to rescue the silence
To give us one chance
An open door you walk through
And close me behind for darkness to run through
My veins, lock me up inside
In the hurt that bleeds my pride
I drown in the sorrow that I cry
I win in the game that let me die
The presence of your absence burning my soul
You never loved me after all
Framed to be alone
Mistaking you, spun me out of control
In the twilight of my nightmares
Confused by my fear
Thrown into the night
A land where I cannot fight
With distance and romance
Always together in my existence
Without you, forever I dance

The challenge

sitting at opposite sides of the table of life, the devil pulls out a chair on one side and the soul on the other. It is a meeting of truth, kingship or slavery, hope or misery as a result. Paper’s of thoughts, opinions, influences, actions, words and views are tossed and thrown. Will the darkness of the devil be the president of the deciding house or will the golden illumination of light from the window of the soul be the savior of the entry.They argue and defend, shout and command, interfere and interrupt, stop and shake heads, fight and slam fists, either win or fight. The table of non – digressing stress solidly separates them but yet closes any aperture that could ever be between them. They are drawn by the destined challenge; what the devil set out to do and what the soul was made to resist.

The devils cleverness; outstanding stunts continue their slyness to overpower. It is an armored mission, challenge to make the gullible soul to fail inadvertently; Outcast the Almighty’s kindness and offer cruelty and weak gratitude. Expatriate the good, exchange with a troubled neighborhood of wrong, wrong doing, continuation of it. To convict in the belief that it is difficult and useless to return to the right path, to become resplendent once more. This is what the devil was set out to do for eternity in the galaxy of the souls meaning. Sit on that side of the table and wild out; furiously inflict hesitation, lack of trust and extinct gratification, creating obstruction, and havoc to the soul. The devil doesn’t know any better, any less, banished to this seat until forever.

The opponent that is the soul knows better. It was given a choice to choose, respect from its creator, the choice to choose, the ability to refute what the devil wants signed or to accept the dark contract of business. It is a challenge, the former, a never ending perseverance for the soul so it can remain refulgent. It is an ever lasting sweat on the forehead from the dripping effort to become stronger than the devil and it can get so hard.

It is the challenge; the soul to refuse and remain on a diamond’s journey and not in a buried tunnel after the meeting.

Note

Expelled with a covering pad of sorrow into blacked out happiness
I’m torn with misconceptions and arrogance
The world is fed with starvation in love
The satiety is from forgiveness with emptiness
The cavity in the core of our nations is of infecting policies
The wounds in our realities skin are impinged by our unkind authorities
All they manage to do is drive punishing salt in our exposed bleeding truth to graduate it to pain
Debt is the new water drunk to sail through our veins, blood freezes
To a consistency of solidified agony but claws of laws still operate
Trying to figure out what I’m going to be
Picking up pieces of lost hope debris
If I could collect my dreams on a clear day
Safe from night rain tears my eyes will later say
If I could have eyes to not devastate the parcel of good luck bound in me
If I could have a soul that doesn’t try to untie, unravel, a mystery, a documentary of vast fearful time ahead of me
If I could own a mind that I bought with peace
If I could contact my heart to send a phone call of reassurance – a dial tone of serenity
If I could hear the sound of tranquility through the message beep of a comforting mobile
To mobile my concreted exile
When I hear the wails of concreted skyscraper cries
Of mothers and little sisters losing their loved ones in a war of why’s
The news opens a department in my heart named ‘suffering despair’
Watching sons and husbands coffined because peace is in ripped tear
A stapler to firm papers of misery in my age
Young strong men locked and flocked to a cage
Tender sweet girls bearing no pink dresses, their skin only wears rage
To her father who kissed her good morning before his work he would engage
Now standing in front of him with his eyes closed, his cuddling body she knew just this morning, now rigid, black from burns
She is the one to kiss him goodbye because her father will never return
Trying to figure out what I’m going to be
My vicinity is an opera show that I can never be free
From torment and loss – I hang a note of plea
I want to be saved from this drowning world sea
A note saying rescue us – rescue me
But all I own is a breaking shattering key
To open the door to what it is
I will constantly see