Saturday, February 6, 2021

Pieces of me 3... Eman and Ahmed

Strangely , I am content
For I know my ground and my ambiance
Yes
I am heartbroken destructed at how a second moment lingers the destruction of a beautiful day
Like a summer breeze
Bombed with the shelling of war
But I have Eman and Ahmed
My beautiful 
I could never love someone more
He follows me he trusts me fully he needs me 
He wants me as just me with no judgement
Isn’t that beautiful? 
And his sweet little hand fits my tears 
And his silent breath holds mine accountable
And his beautiful lips shine my journey
As for Eman
She is really a wonder
A difficult divine prosperous creature asking for everything at the same time
Her heart soft but her words tough
Just like me
Boy is she like me
Like a thunder in the darkness she is my light
And like the rock in the storm I cling onto her
Her eyes needing me in all her might
She is just a little little thing
Even though her voice is wow! 
And her mind is ... mysterious
She is mine and I want her just like she is 
She is the princess of strength the princess of questions 
The princess of my heart and soul
I ask she forgives me one day for all my madness 
All my inequalities 
I ask they both never stop loving me 
I hope they love me with purity
With true true true true love
The kind that you can trust blindly
I wish they hold me tight and warm me
I ask they get smart and clear and confident and most importantly
I beg they love each other more than anything and that they support one another
Because they have each other 
2 amazing souls


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -