Sunday, May 22, 2022

The pain

 Of someone sitting so alone

Probably thinking if things in the past

Or maybe not

And another

Alone although free

Angry mad sad

Lonely

Loneliness big and dumb

At how things are 

NOW

Like how a father is no longer available

Or a son is no longer free

Or a brother is but is now all alone

Who is right in this story

And who is wrong

When did it all start to go wrong

On marriage day

On divorce day

On travel day

On no day

On regret day

On remorse day

On thinking of only I didn’t do this day?

The pain

Of a single cell 

Dirty hot with the unknown

But they cannot protect now

The pain

Of everything

Everyone

No one

The pain of no one

Feeling like you don’t have no one

Must be unbearable

I wonder does he remember 

I wonder does he dream of another life

I wonder does he pray

I wonder is he different

I wonder what happens in a soul on questioning life 


No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -