Sunday, May 29, 2022


 From myself 

But worse my mum

We are like bread and toaster

She heats and i … blacken

Out of context we are unhappy

Not your normal 


Mum and daughter should be kind should be fair

Should be tolerant should be … sweet

But we are vinegar put on a wound 

Or salt on the gash 

Of transferring this madness into my own

I hate who I am

Who I’ve become

I know I could be better kinder

That I could let all the pain STOP at the level of us

And not continue

For at least I owe the fact that this pain started recently

Not when I was 5

So poor faith

Having to deal with this 

I feel like I’m in a nightmare



Explosion of eyes




Unwillingness to be nice

Unwillingness to be loving

Answers always swift

Answers always mean

There are no answers 

It’s always gone

And I feel hurt

Really sad

That this would be us

No us

Just memories

And a future filled with fights

But hey …

I have the power to not m participate



No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -