Thursday, November 11, 2021

Subhan allah when the going gets relative

Literally when evil becomes your relative and another’s happiness is at you loss your stakes
Their smiles are at the expense of your smiles
And their new say is at the loss of your dreams and strengths
You think to yourself
Suddenly
And with fizz
Why?
Sitting in that White House not videos but the rubbish of earth are the devils on the ground 
Thinking they’ve won 
And they might have for awhile 
And that hurts a lot 
But not at the expense of my happiness
Of my hopes and dreams
Of my future 
Not at the expense of my reasoning and my strength my tries and my successes
They can gloat they can do as they wish 
But I won’t let them prevail in my heart
In my soul
Eating away at my confidence
My passes
That number showing on an email 
No 
I won’t 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -