Sunday, November 14, 2021

وطني السودان ٢

اتخيل كل المؤتمرات الكانت فالبال و كل اللقائات الكانت بالدفاتر كل الخرط الجميلة و كل الأفكار الإنهاءات 
اتخيل تزاكر السفر التي لغت  والتلفونات التي دمرت
اتخيل حياة الناس الجميلة المرة فيها قطار الشر و الشيطان ليدوس علي ورود المستقبل و يخلي القطع في كل مكان
اتخيل الخير الدمر 
اتخيل كل شيء كيف كان مثل الموت تماما
كيف اذا كان عايش ولكنه مات
اتخيل ال
Funeral 
فكل سوداني يأتي ليعطي عزائه 
البركة فيكم احسن الله عذائكم 
كان جميل والله الوطن
يقولون
بس نعمل شنو المرض ما برحم 
حاولنا العلاج نقول
بس السم ماله علاج نقول
لقد رجع السرطان في عروقه مرة اخري الي ان لا محال للجمال
الله ارحمك يا وطن 
يا وطني 
فلقد تعبنا من دموعنا
و كانت احلامنا كبيرة مثلك 
كانت احلامنا حر 
كن سعيدين 
قبل ان تمت 
ولكنك مت و متنا معاك يا وطني 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -