Tuesday, August 7, 2012

horrible view

here i am
imagining satin dresses that fall  innocently and linger perfected with a scent of perfume and desire
dark yet light
sexy yet soft
hypnotising
 magical
perfect

the right way curls transform grace to the outside scene

i dont need to hold them
i dont need to think about them
they know what to do
look beautiful

finger nails just long enough to show white, snow symmetrical ,silent and smooth
they are the guards of my elegance
short to look natural sweet to look proffessional

here I am in the other dream i can smell roses fresh from a story of love
their petals still with daze from the night before
he sillhoute fromthe moon touches their face and they become a part of the night cascade of beauty
roses
red
whie
i cant decide but they fragrance my life with joy

yeah, one simple image sets me into a parallel pain and happinness
into a heartache and a fixation to love

for I dream of love obsessively and simply
I dream it to be simple and strong
but i am not the warrior for the job
for my faults are too many
to give energy to all the drawing in my mind to be drawn

the complexes are too itchy
too painful
too far

to be continued 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -