Thursday, August 23, 2012

at the bottom of my heart, lays another heart only for the right one

at the bottom of my heart there is an area unreached , unopened, unbruised by life and untouched
 with me always it shudders at my insanity to open it , and is superly strong against all my tries
it has a powerful mechanism to reject me and all else that is wrong
for no one can open it
but the right one
it will not budge for anything or anyone else
and I am proud of it and forever eternally grateful


this is a movie i must watch without forwarding
or rewinding
and it is a movie i intend to love
for i know at the end it will be perfect

I cant wait to see whats inside
for even i dont know
what that part of me contains
what it looks like
and what feelings it holds

so to be continued inshallah

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -