Thursday, February 9, 2012

in an alleyway behind the nile!

Through a mechanical connection passing through the skies and continents.... flying over the oceans and people's laughs and cries I discovered a jealous episode
for I secretly had hidden a beautiful treasure far away
in an  alley way behind the nile a long time ago,
so noone would know  -
I promised myself that i would come back for it
and it would be my treasure when the time was right
and I would fight ..
to be the one that deserved that treasure
and it would be mine forever
and then i discover
  that I am far too late - for someone discovered my location
that i had been working hard to cover - suddenly I hear plans to give it to someone else
I listen unable to contact help
unable to travel and recover mine
unable to protect what I always wanted
'we found this treasure in an alley behind the nile and we want to give it '!
i stayed silent unable to breathe unable to move
for all my life all I dreamt of  that beautiful treasure that for years i had wondered about for years i had dreamt about for years i had  created khartoum images and heartbreaks hoping that one day they would turn into sweet days and memorable kindness - you and I in an alley way behind the nile
but now its
you and her in an alleyway behind the nile
and all my poems and dreams in a distant file called
' non existent '


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -