I am asleep when the sky sings with colours and the sun rises with its rays kneeling to begin a new day created to shine its working effortlessly but strongly to fulfil the light
I still don’t wake up when subconsciously my inner self screams out loud tearing the insides for me to notice, for me to understand how much I'm damaging myself and itself with what I’m doing
Falling to the ground its hates the way I am ‘relax’ unconscious and negligent
I am nowhere near the truth near the beauty near the destiny and near the energy that is wasted only by trying to make me see
Deep down my inner self is heartbroken at the jail I have put her in – this isn’t she what she was created to achieve was to pass mountains of work and years of hard success – she was supposed to be spending her time creating and imagining not breaking from the pain of seeing herself chained with confusion and sin
As I sleep without guilt her guilt tackles her to despair – her light begins to fade and her super powers begin to disappear
After all if you don’t use it you lose it
I turn around in my bed and notice that the sun has come out – suddenly – me and her mingle as my disappointment pours into my mind that I lost the battle once again
And she looks at me and her tears assemble her face
You have lost the battle once again
My eyes concentrate on the alarm clock – 9.35 but Morning Prayer should have been 6.00 am
When there was a wisp of angels in the air and a hint of heaven to repair all the open wounds in my soul –
Now they are left open to continue to hurt
She looks into my eyes and hates what I’ve done how I’ve damaged her like this how I’ve changed how everything should be - NOT LIKE THIS - I AM NOT LIKE THIS -
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