Thursday, June 4, 2009

Unrequited Coffee


I drink the whisps of ending

Aromatic flavours of heartbreak

The next chapter to reveal new awakenings of tears
Empty tables support intention, distention of fears

Secret winding stairs jump latitude to reach useless prosperous dreaming

Tormented strength of nourishment - The caffeine drug lifts me and I dance effortlessly into pain

Exhibiting my veins to Love and turmoil circling the spoon of fate - I wait... surrounded by friends of paused chairs and silently talking windows cleaning my shadow, shining my hollow

Would you like something else? My coffee is cold and I would rather have tea -a change I see - let me taper and melt between brown and black colours spelt with red - anything to save me

Here you are - the time is handed on the fee - it's a long time I see

The more you pay and the longer you stay -

The more debt you loan, the more sad memories you own

The harder you make it to forget, the stronger is the regret

If your Love is unrequited, you will never be invited - To Live

Your Coffee does not have a reason to work, its cells unable to correct tiredness from remembering his taste,it's taste no longer filfilling enjoyment of wanting him, its smell powerless to erase the phase of loving him, its thickness too light to thicken strength of forgetting him, its taste bland to resist temptation of kissing him, its components lacking function of a beautiful connection- just an unrequited addiction... of Loving him unsuspended

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -