Close, she could hear her pain beating and the clock ticking rapidly only towards the future. Far away, her ears collected the vague sounds of sisters getting dressed and fighting over which shoes matched better as her eyes skimmed colored veils of outfits that flew in the air. But Lana continued to stare at her reflection in the mirror as if it was a mismatch. A reflection abused and bruised by time. She was ready from the outside. Her dress, a delicate lace of white, trimmed her outline as only beautiful and her jewelry made her shine and compete with the moon but inside, as she tried to wash down her emotion, she knew she had to learn how to smile again, from start. Strenuous lessons if need be and as her eyes jammed her tears behind the rich brown color in them and her breath held her hurt inside, Lana realized she had to begin consuming an identity that was full of a thousand words, memories, but mostly a face she hated to understand. As Lana woke from her thoughts at that instant one of the most drastic and effective women in Lana’s life had entered the room. This woman was no other than mum, the mother of the five girls in the house, one of which was getting married today. Her ironed shiny hair waved around her shoulders bounded by the silky caramel material she was wearing around her head. Her shoes, with long heels made her look 20 years younger. Overall she was engulfed by a look that could say no other but ‘’I’m so glad this day has finally come for my daughter’’. Mum had come behind Lana’s dresser seat. It was the first daughter mother contact they had nearly had all day from all the preparations, visitors and lists of chores to run, but as mum knelt down her make-up face to approach Lana, she could say nothing but ‘’you look beautiful’’. But she quickly with a deafening roar and lifting her body upright, shouted over the rest of the girls how late they were and they should all be downstairs. ‘’Sam is coming to take Lana down in a few minutes! I want everyone out!’’ and with that she placed her hand on Lana and said again ‘’he’s waiting for you’’. As their eyes met on a time and moment like this, the expression on each ones faces was of an inexplicable nature. Mum continued to smile. Ever since Sam had proposed to her daughter she had liked him, his family earnings as well his future prospects. She knew this was the one man for Lana and her beauty. How happy she was to see her wishes finally coming true; even if it took all the hard work, the changing of the truth and the gluing of the lies. She would be giving something for her daughter she would never have given herself. Lana tried to drift through her mother’s eyes; for a while they were blank, but then she found them to be some sort of a porthole and soon had found her mind drifting into another memory; a place she wanted more than anything to have been near, for her to find once more. It was a world not so far away in history, ‘’I promise I’ll be there for you always’’, ‘’yeah?’’, ‘’yeah, but you just have to answer one question!’’, ‘’and what’s that?’’,’’ will you wait for me until I finish the college year and then marry me?’’. She remembered the whirlpool of happiness she had swirled into and the look in his eyes that made her feel safe, but more so, she remembered, how she believed in him and his words; that everything was going to be perfect and true, forever. Now, the falseness came gushing back to attack her. ‘’Oh my god what …what are you doing?’’, Reem? Is that you…what are you doing, how could you do this? ‘’you’re supposed to be my best friend?’’, and you… you lied to me! How could both of you do this to me?’’. She remembered the shock, her eyes blurring her stomach feeling nauseated and her whole life feeling sick. But just like before, there was always something more that she could remember; this time it was the embarrassment. The embarrassment of loving somebody that only betrayed, as well as the embarrassment of Sam having seen the same thing. He had come with her by accident that day. Weakening, yet powerful thoughts and Lana could find no other way to remove them and their attached pain except to follow her mother’s hand. This hand lead her to Sam whom she was only marrying because what the man she really loved and her best friend Reem did to her, had made her never want to love again.
