Sunday, February 3, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Echoes in my mind_ (Understand but not love)
No matter how much perfume I use
I can never stop smelling the irreversibility of my mistakes-
The pressure concaves me in the pits of decomposition – beyond beyond repair
I am gone – into a complex immorality of moral depression –
Life block
Thought shock
Everything is not how it was meant to be
I try and highlight to myself my identity
But time and time again
I scrape all my integrity
And smash it down the bin of betrayal
My head betrays my body betrays my life betrays my dreams betrays my innocence betrays my conceptions and so betrays me – me –
My extinctions of distinction
I sit in an attic of broken memories that I shoved there from the filled space of tears –
Files and files of history fill up my fears
I grow a full stomach of depression and a large diet coke still doesn’t do the trick
The sweet trick of minds
No sugar great taste
U can drink as much as u want and u will never get fat
How about that?
When it comes to love?
No - love piles calories of remorse no matter what u do
I’m sick of being sick with remorse
That I am not good enough for you
Completely shattered by the mistake that is trying to figure me out into something I just do not know
I force myself into a corner I was never meant to be in the first place
I’m sick of me thinking about you thinking about me – bad bad trick
And I cannot find the remedy
It’s a tragedy
That I can't stop thinking about you
My room is disorganized like my head is organized
Very very gone wrong
I would sing it like a song
If there was ever such a tune to follicle the madness of my words
No words though – no no words
That could ever fix me
Or jinx me into a better destiny
Just greetings into cracked weirdness
Weird weird craziness
That’s what they all see
That leaves them not look at me
Or worse still – understand me
None of them understand me
Even me
But the one that didn’t fall in love with me –
Understood me – and I knew he was hurt
By life’s tar burn
And he couldn’t turn back
Too old and too late to turn back
If I could just show him – that there is still time for everything
Maybe he would change and love me
But then he probably wouldn’t understand me
I can never stop smelling the irreversibility of my mistakes-
The pressure concaves me in the pits of decomposition – beyond beyond repair
I am gone – into a complex immorality of moral depression –
Life block
Thought shock
Everything is not how it was meant to be
I try and highlight to myself my identity
But time and time again
I scrape all my integrity
And smash it down the bin of betrayal
My head betrays my body betrays my life betrays my dreams betrays my innocence betrays my conceptions and so betrays me – me –
My extinctions of distinction
I sit in an attic of broken memories that I shoved there from the filled space of tears –
Files and files of history fill up my fears
I grow a full stomach of depression and a large diet coke still doesn’t do the trick
The sweet trick of minds
No sugar great taste
U can drink as much as u want and u will never get fat
How about that?
When it comes to love?
No - love piles calories of remorse no matter what u do
I’m sick of being sick with remorse
That I am not good enough for you
Completely shattered by the mistake that is trying to figure me out into something I just do not know
I force myself into a corner I was never meant to be in the first place
I’m sick of me thinking about you thinking about me – bad bad trick
And I cannot find the remedy
It’s a tragedy
That I can't stop thinking about you
My room is disorganized like my head is organized
Very very gone wrong
I would sing it like a song
If there was ever such a tune to follicle the madness of my words
No words though – no no words
That could ever fix me
Or jinx me into a better destiny
Just greetings into cracked weirdness
Weird weird craziness
That’s what they all see
That leaves them not look at me
Or worse still – understand me
None of them understand me
Even me
But the one that didn’t fall in love with me –
Understood me – and I knew he was hurt
By life’s tar burn
And he couldn’t turn back
Too old and too late to turn back
If I could just show him – that there is still time for everything
Maybe he would change and love me
But then he probably wouldn’t understand me
Anymore
And that breaks my heart .............
I want to part with my heart
I want to part with my heart
And get a new one
Because this one is just destroyed
Completely and utterly void
Customer complaint – It’s not doing what I tell it to do
It just does what it feels like doing
And it goes behind my back and tells my mind
To think things I never wanted to find
My heart isn’t my heart
It’s got its own identity stealing my name
It and I are not the same
Unit ----
It fights its own wars
Makes its own scores
For love and what other
I have no say
In what it wants to preach
I cannot teach - my heart to do what I want
My heart is my criminal offence
But now I cannot catch it to give it sentence
It has hidden behind the globes of my soul
Yeah my heart and my soul are ganging up on me
But today I’m just complaining about my heart
It’s beyond responding to meBut ---------
I cannot blame thee
Because it tried to be with me for me obey me listen to me give advice to me say to me hear me be me and be me and be me ----- a longtime ago
And I hurt it by making it love pain and cries
I broke it by promising it a million tries
Of a second chance
Of not loving someone who didn’t love me
Understood me but didn’t love me
I can remember the nights it slept dreaming of true love
And I dampened its hopes my making it fantasize only this love
Because that was the one love I wanted so much
My heart became inflamed from the soreness – tender to touch
Until I thought one day I misplaced it but soon enough it was rendered kidnapped
My heart kidnapped itself away
Never to stay with me anymore
It gave up and decided to run
From inside me –
Somewhere inside me
So now I have no beat
Silence is upbeat – where the hollow of my heart used to be
With my heart I can no longer see
It will never help me – look at things with heart again
I’m trying to replace its occupation
But it’s leaving me with chaos and devastation
You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone
And the other parts of me are missing my heart
That’s why my mind won’t start
So sad about the part
With my felony heart
It might just revolutionize too…………
(To be continued)
A lot like love...
I want to love so emotionally distinct – a love that seems extinct – The blur of this emotionally distinct extinct love’s fantasia will cocoon me into being with you forever – I will love the dreams beneath your eyes beyond the horizons of your soul – I am going to look deeper and deeper addicted for a higher dose of a merge with the closeness of your touch, trying to put into words how it will be – when you call my name and my senses obey or when you visit my heart and it begs you to stay – because I want to redefine the meaning of near – you will not be near – you will be a word more intense to me than just near – you will become a part of my answers – when I think of you, it’s a lot like love – but the feeling is so strange and powerful, magnified and desire is so strong, it’s unbearable that I just know there is another word like love but crazier – a word simplified to explain what you do to me yet tangled in every complexion because when you kiss me you pull the rainbows out of the sky to come join and make the waterfalls collapse to try and see – its like that – damaging and naturally corrosive – immense in dynamics of insane purity –
But to love this love so emotionally distinct – a love that seems extinct – when you find me -- -- -- -- -- -- when you f—i—n—d—Never mind.
But to love this love so emotionally distinct – a love that seems extinct – when you find me -- -- -- -- -- -- when you f—i—n—d—Never mind.
Addiction
A game to play forgetting you are the winning loser
A heart numb to a feeling of attached undetachable despair
Your wings broken to the height of freedom – although you beg each time to get out of this pricking kingdom –
Soul bleeding from the heavy distance with loving your identity – you have long lost the ability to change your destiny- held down by the magnitude of sorrow, the latitude of hollow - even though you imagine each and every second how it would be like – if you would just fight – to get out of your homely mess – if you could kill this repressing cold pressing stress –
And see the light of a new day –where nothing and no one can be in your way – where you become leader of your passion and your mind convinces you what you convince yourself – because you are united as one – as one under the sun – and no addiction could ever devil in between and darken the space of heaven you have come to breathe and seize –
You must become empowered by your beauty that you are stronger than any addiction – letting go of a witches grasp – you don’t have to gasp – in order to barely survive – you love who you are – a shining independent star – not locked down and hidden deep down in a delve under the earth shattering so far – where no one can hear your screams that rage beneath your dreams and cry for a hand to pull up your monsterly affairs – but no one cares – except an addiction that leaves you thinking you are alone –and nothing else could ever be in store – depressing you into a fit of hypnotized anger – that slowly turns love into danger – and loss becomes better – with an addiction -
I urge you to believe you are not captive, and this addiction is not native in your memories or in your hands – in your eyes –
This addiction is a foreign madness sheltering fearfully in you - until you remember you have taken care of it for far too long – until you come to face and linger about the reasons why it all went wrong – the addiction will race to confront any trace of you strengthening to hold on to a rope of hope – all the mistakes it bakes into a cake of un edible destruction – you could never get over the broken relationships or the unforgivable hardships or whatever tormenting scholarship – to enter your world –
You need to think of it as a project of minds – where you become the owner, the profiteer, the one who captures fears and changes it into money to buy a second chance – you turn tears into investments of smiles – change lost property into based policy – that you are the success of your drawn up picture – you are the production of a special feature- that addiction would do anything to tear – anything to bring back the nightmare - so you can glare – back into the silence of your wear –
Your story is not nonsense and there is no giving up tonight – there is no giving in – unafraid tell you who you are – tell you what you fantasize to come real – what you’ve always wanted to feel – no addictions – just your dedication – to be your own creation.
A heart numb to a feeling of attached undetachable despair
Your wings broken to the height of freedom – although you beg each time to get out of this pricking kingdom –
Soul bleeding from the heavy distance with loving your identity – you have long lost the ability to change your destiny- held down by the magnitude of sorrow, the latitude of hollow - even though you imagine each and every second how it would be like – if you would just fight – to get out of your homely mess – if you could kill this repressing cold pressing stress –
And see the light of a new day –where nothing and no one can be in your way – where you become leader of your passion and your mind convinces you what you convince yourself – because you are united as one – as one under the sun – and no addiction could ever devil in between and darken the space of heaven you have come to breathe and seize –
You must become empowered by your beauty that you are stronger than any addiction – letting go of a witches grasp – you don’t have to gasp – in order to barely survive – you love who you are – a shining independent star – not locked down and hidden deep down in a delve under the earth shattering so far – where no one can hear your screams that rage beneath your dreams and cry for a hand to pull up your monsterly affairs – but no one cares – except an addiction that leaves you thinking you are alone –and nothing else could ever be in store – depressing you into a fit of hypnotized anger – that slowly turns love into danger – and loss becomes better – with an addiction -
I urge you to believe you are not captive, and this addiction is not native in your memories or in your hands – in your eyes –
This addiction is a foreign madness sheltering fearfully in you - until you remember you have taken care of it for far too long – until you come to face and linger about the reasons why it all went wrong – the addiction will race to confront any trace of you strengthening to hold on to a rope of hope – all the mistakes it bakes into a cake of un edible destruction – you could never get over the broken relationships or the unforgivable hardships or whatever tormenting scholarship – to enter your world –
You need to think of it as a project of minds – where you become the owner, the profiteer, the one who captures fears and changes it into money to buy a second chance – you turn tears into investments of smiles – change lost property into based policy – that you are the success of your drawn up picture – you are the production of a special feature- that addiction would do anything to tear – anything to bring back the nightmare - so you can glare – back into the silence of your wear –
Your story is not nonsense and there is no giving up tonight – there is no giving in – unafraid tell you who you are – tell you what you fantasize to come real – what you’ve always wanted to feel – no addictions – just your dedication – to be your own creation.
Sudan Hip Hop - Story of our life- M.O.T
This is a really modern switch in musical sudanese talent - the words are really meaningful, the tune - modern,hip hop but sudanese rooted and so is are the pictures -giving sudan a new contemporary art to host -
Friday, February 1, 2008
Khartoum Heartbreak 2
The sun shines frantically to hide the darkness of my sorrow- it melts my depression of not having you into the realms of an African tragedy – I listen to the melancholy drip drop of sweated tears – crying from my inner breakage – my third world average – I would never be able to pay of the debt of attraction – too poor for your eyes to ever expensive -ise me – desertification of passion flows through my veins – I pray to the skies miracles wishing it would rain – rain your soul that would irrigate my dreams from excessive temperatures of heartache – You are - tempers soft against the gale of the harsh madness – I whisper to my torn apart land, that it would be alright, if I just forgot about you – if I starved all my desire beneath rib cages only strong enough to pretend – maybe I could lend - malnourished thoughts of you to my mind – then I wouldn’t find – a storage of the twilight extravagance of your eyes to explore my secretive feelings – when you look at me – so close yet so tropically far – I could never become more intimidated by romance and torment at the same time – star lights night engaging my protest to hold you near and tell you my fears – the darkness pours its reasoning suddenly, randomly - I am twisted in a (fairymare, nighttale) of what I could never be to you – every meaning that it spells – no matter how the caged balconies free my temptations – I could never make you understand what you mean to me – so I silence my Khartoum heartbreak as it could never be – that you and I are on the same equator of love
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
