its up to you

will we give it a try?

one last eenie beetsie weenie try

one thats worth a fight 

and worth some fun

and worth some sun

in the heart of the one you lvoe the most

youself

shall we try for the very very last time?

to break free?

 

Try for the last time 2

Theres a woman inside me gonna break free
its about time the prisoner was set free
theres a hope within me dying to be right
but been living without truth and unable to fight
or is it didnt want to fight
been feeding devils and wondered why so hungry
been providing for them and wondered why so busy
without product
felt like a by product
of surrender
couldnt feel myself, my hopes and my dreams
all in a shadow behind their cloud of black
covering me and tangling me till I couldnt see the track



There s a woman inside me gonna show the world
my world it can be better and it will be better
and its always been better
and ..lighter

except now
lighter from sin
from lack of effort and
from fear
yes
lighter from fear
and lighter from a heavy soul

for im tired of carrying all this weight in my soul
unalbe to let it shine
unable to let it gleam
unable to let it drive me into existence

all this time been waiting int he heat for the gates to open to a day I can see on the other side
but never seem to get a visa stamped to get htere
and it doesnt mattter what passport i have
or what imagination i own
i never fill the application right
and so i just stand while others pull up and pull through
and on the way I ask
oh how did you do it!
I never listen to their answer
I always wander at how whatever their answer is I could have done it but never did

anyway
theres a woman inside me
gonna try again
try again for the last time and the right time

ameen

A Diva dances in me_ a morning writer

because I want to remind myself never to be the same
yesterday I watched beyonce all over again
she makes me wanna live and live more
and be cool and better and kinder and strong
an amazing woman I want to be
not like her 
but like me

ill always be better and im going to fight all that is wrong until I get somewhere
and not just anywhere
somewhere that has a point and strength 

I think no one can stop me only me
and ive stopped myself long ...enough
today is a beautiful day
and I want to be have more and more beautiful days
and I want to love  and create and recreate
and dance

I love dancing
it why I promised myself no wedding without dance
and I didnt think it would come true but 
now suddenly
its all come true 
and better
and dancing is like the breath , the life, the joy, the sweat , the hardwork, the beauty, the sexy, the traditional, the modern of the wedding

everything is beautifulwith dance

....

The return of a Diva...

unknown to myself, I know there is a diva inside me;
untouched, silent, minded, not helpless, powerful, strong, achieving, wise, gentle, elegant, beautiful, modern, fashionable, sexy, faithful, patient, futuristic, secretive, happy, on time, collected, clean, funny, traditional, modest, open minded, optimistic, smart, sweet, a dancer, a writer, a hard worker, a saver, honest, brave, a dreamer, a cake baker, a music lover, respectable, kind, unhidden, ...a white slate.

The Diva Chronicles_shake me 2

let me tell you about a girl who lost her way

once upon a time she used to pray

and asked for all things she wanted in her life

until one day she gave up for no reason at all

she let herself fall

all the angels were so suprised

they were so used to taking her forgiveness up to the sky

but all they could see now was a girl filled with a lie

for she was living her life for all the wrong reasons

breaking promises and weakening her soul

why was she taking this role?

she wasnt like that at all

once upon a time she trusted her faith

once upon a time she had strong dreams

once upon a time she never gave up

now it didn't make sense what was up

what was wrong?

was it a devils new trick

or her soul was sick

or her mind was quick... to be impatient

well whatever the problem the wind blew strong

and the roads grew long

whatever it was

this girl was far

and could no longer find stars

to wish upon

whatever it was

this girl was crying

and no longer trying

to find a solution

just a while back there was so much success!

and dreams did come true!

proof came about

that in God there was no doubt

So what was the difference now?

Why the break in Love now?

How could she think like this?

and live like this?

No...

This girl need shaking

and waking

and talking to

this girls needs a replay of her fascinating memoirs

her life and her dreams

this girl needs ....herself back

Diva... Gym tomorrow

I am... in a gym mood
recycling the battered troubles of my mind and excersising truth
I want to run and be free - live life to the fullest expenditure of energy
I want to try hard and feel happy I mean truly happy with myself
and all I can be
I want to be motivated to control and satisfy the good intentions of my ....
my hairstyle my body my temptations my soul
i want to conquer majesty and magazines DVD rentals of good hope
i want to watch movies and read successful books to be successful
i want to get to know something that was in me and I ignored
something simple and I looked at it the wrong way the hard way
tell me - can someone change so fast so easy
like a switch button powered on, powered now powered do not press but got pressed
_________________________________
I buy all these things to suffice me
but today I enticed me
by the simple magical twists of wedding love
I searched beyond my devasted affairs and into their scent, their hair their clothes their babies
I wanted a baby
but i want to go to the gym first
__________________________________
THis is a crazy dimensioned honesty catastrophe of a poem
not lyrical, very personal and written very fast
but it might just be the first time I am breathing with communication
and i am living with dedication - to go to the gym

Diva.... I am here

My independance is precious

My strength is enormous

My life is new

My mind is beautiful...I am beautiful

My corners are organised

My hopes and dreams are passionate

Fulfilled by Islam, Success and Love

I am ...Sudan Fairytale

I am intelligent...but how so

I am strong but how much

I can be weak but how little

I am intimate but is it real

I am kind but am I not selfish?

oh God, I don't want to be selfish

i don't want people to think i am

wrong, boring, showing, telling

I want to be a secret -

Undiscovered Diva

Diva - I don't understand why I cannot create a miracle
Just a small fancy glow of miracle particles from within myself - To be who I want to be - Not you - me
I cannot see why white, green and black swim and form a colour I have never revealed - my colour -
Myths of fantasies inside me
Dramas and Twists and I am never allowed to visualise the outcome
I know it's there - dancing and singing waiting to be
....... Discovered -
I AM... UNDISCOVERED

Blurred Diva

I

AM

BLURRED

The Diva Stage - Empty Filling Places

Diva Passing Phase

One of the happiest days of my Life
I guarantee that time can prove independence and hard work but most importantly praying is fascinatingly accomplishing
I accomplished the biggest dream of my life, after years and years of work, I know that God helped me; I know that I helped me
And the dream has come alive
I think that truly for the first day in my life.... a dream has really come true... very true
And I thank God every second

Diva Intermediate Phase

Living on the Edge

On the brink of a New Life

The edge of my dreams and haven of pride

- Good pride, I only ever try to submit good pride

Boundaries of uncertainty wade the truth of years into days now

I am waiting

Deciding

Remembering

The frozen moments of fate...melt into hours...I am nervous...I am so afraid of dissappointing

Chance is waking

Of still reality now so real

Bursting energy

A long time ago

I want to make them proud

Islam proud

Me proud

But I am afraid

Of missing

Of hurting

Of .... Please God help me

But I think that this intermediate phase is correct

Inshallah

It will be correct

I have a Diva side and I want to make it

I have a good side and I want to keep it

Being strong enthusiastic smart and proud

Identity mould sits wonderfully on my personality

and I am not cheating myself

I have a patient side and I want to determine it

never letting go at the early time

do not stop until I chase the end

I have a fantastic side and I want to embrace it

living on the edge of freedom because I let do with who I am

in the most creative and demanding of ways

because I deserve to know what it feels like to succeed

I have a beautiful side and I want to vitalise it

not just with creams and lotions

but with love and devotion

I have a Diva side and I want to make it

The Diva who changes

I am A collection of hope and pride

I want to do well

even If I defect in some things

I know that it is hard to maintain prospects and achieve goals

but it is important to stay alive when alive

I am sorry for all the wastes of time

but the real waste of time is to not take into account the future

Every day is a new chance

a new opportunity to survive

in a golden way

The collection of armor is up to you

you choose to be defened or bare

to be happy or not to care

about your life

I care about mine

And nothing damaging is allowed to get in my way

Reality Diva Dreamer

I dream of
Droplets of the future
Dews of the past
The wishes upon time and the sincerity of hope
Chances and advances of a memories evolution
I dream of prnciples and the sale of choices
I dream of sails... passing by, flying high
Taking me ashore to places new and fascinating
Where the breath of the moon shines my life
Carrying new options like the cresent discovery into a lunar month
I dream of prayers that exist beyond that moon, the galaxy and the farthest Universe into the realms of Gods doors, where I pray, they are accepted
I dream of love and beauty
Beauty, inner and outer merging theatrically as a one production of faith
Mythological realities conguent of nature and episodical developments of romance
I dream of me and myself and I
That I understand what I want, and how to achieve
I dream that I be realistic, yet a dreamer past any dreamers experience
That my capability to dream only expands and reproduces
I dream that I can only escape and become free
Reality Diva dreamer is me

Diva Independence

Independence blows me away with responsibility and time

I feel interrogated by my mind to control my senses, my events and my eyes like never before

My language speaks like I am a new me

Becoming what I was given to be

Full of strength and Faith

I feel surrounded by my magnitude of tries

Suddenly I have power to be EXACTLY who I want to be

No more cries

This Independence is both scary and easy

Peaceful and Warlike

A Very limited confession between truth and lies

A careful structure between identity and loss in time

I feel like I am EXTREMELY capable of taking care of myself

But honestly

Loneliness is a sore arm

Being alone... Is hard

Like being in your own company

No.... terminology of warmth in someone elses comfort

Independence is fragile

Easily broken and tremendously treasurable

Please God help me stay .... better than what independance brings

Trusting Yourself -

Full of Hope Diva

Back on track
I am listening to the beat, the way it should seat
My interest is in education
Of the heart, soul and mind into happiness
My status is the present of the present
My nutrition is a flow of glow
I am heating my cool
And I love every sensation
Of the way I live
Hope spills out of my name
And I am its meaning
I am Full of HOPE TO be the true me
To succeed

Patient March Diva

I struggle to define myself
To define my priorities and my goals
To occupy my heart and mind with silver and gold
But sometimes reality tarnishes the shine away
I keep polishing but the stains... array into worries and doubt
The suspicion rusts my spring flowers into a decayed torment of time
Is it happening? Could it be? Am I crazy to even think about thinking this?

I struggle to stay beautiful amidst the storm that darkens my make up shades
The wind blows my hair into directions of fury
And the sun dries my tears that reflect porous ambitions

I stuggle to look like spring
Bright and anxious to fulfill flowering moments
To brighten my future

I struggle to become the Diva that I intend to be
Strong meaningful and honest with myself
Polished and carved by my own Ideas, Love and Thoughts
Standing up for what I believe and want to be
And how I desire people to think of me - A Beautiful and Kind woman
And most of all - Keeping the Promises I make to myself
I struggle to be - The Patient March Diva

Not A victim of fears

Not a patient of tears

Only patient to ask God for Forgiveness

Always

Please God take my forgiveness and somehow treasure it

If you take only the outer rim of my canvas of praying

I will be grateful to you

DIVA TREE

Diva let it be
You are the flower on a flowering tree
After the winter, the hardships and the pain
And all the energy that grew in the rain
Diva let it be
The bloom of power in your heart
Where faith can open into the sunshine’s devour
Let it all shine
Petals divine

Each one, Colourful as the joy of silken cells, enveloping an escapade of newborn growth into beauty and honesty, letting the particles of development wet natures time, a collection of a soul’s management to trying, trying hard, forgiving and forgetting but never giving up

Diva let it be

The enclosure of your personality to the outside world should be a miraculous expenditure where blowing emotions sway the breeze of awakenings deep into the tenant of your navy sky, whisking your dreams away, but never taking them astray, from the eyesight of the mother tree –

Diva let it be

Gods words on thee

Gods Love on me

Gods help I plea

To be the Diva that I must be.

Diva in me

The Diva in me

Wants to be Set Free

The Diva in me
Is of the highest degree

Reaching so high up in the sky
And flying high

Diva soar true
And Become You