Lot to say 1- being grateful

I have alot to say

Like how i miss my old ways 

Like believing in myself and actually liking myself

I miss my old ways

Like being a hard worker

Concentrating

Remembering

Am fearing i cant remember no mor

For my phone holds precedence

My thoughts about what the future could hold holds rock

In my heart until no positive exists

You cant secrete happiness and goodbess

From darkness from mistrust 

From working poor

I hate who ive been lately

So

Traumatic

So autonomic

No reality 

didnt want to see reality no more

Like that time i failed biology 

Literally got an F

But then for summer i studied so hard i knew what needed to be donei studied and i got an A

Yes i remember

Here i remember

Like how Many timesgod has helped me and i dont bother to listenlike how muxh i want something but aint trying hard enough to get there

Like being ungrateful

Yes i have been ungrateful

So first bad emotion am gonna throw away before i even get on that plane is...

Ungratefullness

I will only be grateful for all the good things allah has given me

And all the good days allah has shown me

And all the happy memories allah has provided me

And all the wishful thinking allah has promised me 

And all the health i have and will have

And all the health i need and will get

And all the places i go and most importantly rhe lovely parents i have and more important than that 

The amazing man whos given me his all

The man who i trust more than i trust myself

And more than i could ever wish for

Yes

Truly to the core

I dontknow what i would have been without him

 

Note to self 

I deserve the best

I deserve it all

Allah loves me and has never let me down

But he does test me

Now like the brave woman you are...

Are you up for the challenge?...