Monday, October 11, 2010

Dear long lost lover

Dear sir,
It's 11.48 Pm and I'm imagining across the rainbows and over the oceans, in another life, in another place not this world, t's still 11.48 Pm except

We are together ,
We are in love,

See, I'm thinking about you even though I Really don't know


cant w rite how i Feel
Ican only dream it and see it so real it hurts to let go
like...avatar
I just want to close my eyes and never leave your world

the world where you a re... the man I want
more than the man I want
you are better



I can see love
I can see a lot of things
Its hard for me to have them
like beauty
likel ust
like purity
like your love


I feel like in that world
so
so
far away

we are one
we connect
we sync together into harmonious pleasure
by
just
dancing
we love each other
like crazy


im telling you Icant write how i feel
call it lack of talent
call it pain to try and putsuch a golden silk dream into words
call it intense pain to come back to reality
as writing is reality

but I love you
Ive only met you once
I hate you
you dont mean anything to me in my world here
you can never exist
you dont even know I exist
i hatae you
becasue you do all the wrong things and live nthe wrong world
and yuo are the wrong man for me
ive only seen you once
ive only met oyu once
and idont know you
but i know i cant stop thinking about you in that world
where we dance so close it might just be impossible to seperate your touch from my heart

i know that i am in a terrible state of mind
i have let everyhting leak
all my sin leak
so why not this

this world where you exist
i let it pur into me
even if every second i let it breathe
it will shatter my existence
for to make my dream alive
i have to kill a prt of me

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -