Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Raining on me


It’s raining outside and my heart is bleached with pain
Corrosive particles fall subtly to wet the ground –
Quietly, all my tears become a harmony of sound –
Outside, I hear the rain on my window pane
Sweet drifts from the sky reminisce on this shelter
Collections dribble dreams away from me
Coldly, they sweeten the roads, the houses, the seas
Millions of pearl drops of rain, together- by one another
Coming to wash away my answers
I am so close to them listening to their gathering
Listening to their pondering
Where will they slip tonight?
How will they reflect the light?
Of my disasters and miracles
My imaginations...Flying to meet the storm
Rain drops creatively paint the glass with a forecast
Artistically draw circles and lines in the atmosphere
I wish they taught me how to be free in expression
How to Live with Life
The weather is shivering today
With memories, fears and problems that are here to stay
I try and understand the wind that is blowing in my territory
Is it change, difference, loss, heartbreak?
Stems grow outwards and upwards in the minerals of my sorrows
Luscious emotions of hurt that will flower tomorrow
Nectar of regret
Time does not help you forget
The rains effects are astounding shadows that connect seconds into moments that whisper hours and wriggle into times – day – time – night – time –
Which time? Is my time?
Freezing with an open window of a broken fate
Pieces absorbed are destiny that’s late
Engulfing my breaths into a forgotten date
The rain supports my troubled debate
Of lies that drive in by the open gate
Lies that burden their weight on my skin, my eyes, my voice
My enclosed escape
My weak room
Like a modern tomb
I am buried inside whirls of rain

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -